Today, things went rather well school wise. That is; until about lunch time, when my stomach started hurting so badly that I could no longer considerate. I went out and sat down in our living room. The room is rather large, even with two couches, an arm chair, television set, and our own personal library (which is also the best library in the country). I decided that this would be a good time to pipe a tune on my ocarina. Just as I finished the most convincing finally of "My Favorite Things" yet-- my lip split... again. I proceeded to wander back to my dad's room where the Vaseline was. Evidently, my dad had gotten there just before I had. The Vaseline was in his closet, and so was he. I walked in and tried to reach for the Vaseline, but he gave me this look over his shoulder; like I'd burnt the cookies and said:
"It followssss ussss, and doessssn't knockssss, Precioussss?" In a deep throaty, raspy voice. I backed up and knocked on the door. "Oh now it knockes!" he replied. I went again for the Vaseline, but he started again, "Ooh, it doessssn't even ask Ussss."
"Fine," he was being unusually difficult, in play- but still. "May I get something?"
"What doessss he want, precioussss?"
"The Vaseline, my lip split." I said, then just to get him for giving me a hard time I added, "And, you said 'he' not 'it' the last time." to which he made one of the labored sounds, like when some one says 'Darn' really loud and fast."But other than that is was a good Gollum impression." I walked back out to the living room trying not to smile so as not to hurt my lip.
I sat in the chair and just thought to my self, "Ok, you've got the imperative sentence structure down now we should get to the exclamatory- exclamations, what am I thinking, I should invent the plural form! OF WHAT? You haven't invented any nouns yet! What you really need to get on to is the alphabet. Which one- actually no let me take a step back, we can't make the alphabet until we have a larger grammar database. The conversations I have with my self are rarely less confusing than this. I thought on a bit longer. When my dad came the room, I put my thoughts away and dusted out my attic.
My dad sat there for a few minutes, or maybe it was seconds, and then rose to his feet and said (in his normal voice) "I know how to get them to come home so we can eat!" and rushed out of the room. I stared after him wondering what on earth he was talking about. He came not two minutes afterward carrying my school books. All I could do was stare at the ceiling and laugh, but it does seem as though when ever we sit down to get to school, They usually come in and cause a large commotion, and usually causing dad to have to leave to disband some micro crusade, or something of the sort. Well this time- NOTHING happened, at all. We actually made it through, my assignments without being interrupted. All I could think was "Praise to the Lord!" I honestly cannot remember the last time this happened.
About ten minutes later they arrived home and dad and I (who had been sitting at the table staring at the empty bowls before us) were saved from fainting from low blood sugar. We ate soup, drank assorted juices, and were very thankful.when we had finished, I cleared the table, and got back to school.
It's what happened next that has me convinced that my brothers can, not only read minds, but also do positively ridiculous things just to watch my thoughts get all mixed up.
I was very nearly finished with my school work, but there were a few Items that I couldn't find in the books, so I went to ask dad for help. He came and sat down, and we were trying to figure out exactly which terms to search for when; Knock Knock Knock! "NO!" I answered the door, and at the same time, dad says,
"Come in!"
"How could you?" I whispered to him. It was Josh, and I did the only thing one can do when Josh enters a room. I berried my head in my hands and braced my self. Josh opened the door slowly, so slowly that it was nearly painful, he walked in his enormous blue eyes roving all the while, and on every pass they made over my room, his eyes met mine, mischievously. By this time my thoughts were racing, "did I leave my scissors out- where are my recorders? In my cubby, good- my mug?- not impotent-" and other such thoughts. Dad had finished answering whatever question Josh had come to have answered, and Josh walked out of my room walking slowly and backward so as to reveal, his menacing little grin. though he was only in my room for one minute, it took my ten minutes to clean all of the dust out of my attic and resume my studies.
**NOTE: This is not meant to be taken seriously AT ALL. This is to be read for comedic purposes ONLY.
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